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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644582">Heavens to Betsy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aristi/pseuds/Aristi'>Aristi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, Hand Job, Humor, Humorous misunderstandings, M/M, Potions, im bad at tagging help</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:01:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aristi/pseuds/Aristi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Severus must drop everything to save Luna's friend, Betsy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>House of Snarry's Snape Birthday Bash!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heavens to Betsy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmicboredom/gifts">Cosmicboredom</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Nyxism, I hope this is something like what you would want! I tried to include some of your favorite things, but I'll admit I struggle with the sexy scenes... </p><p>Hope you like it! Happy Snape's Birthday!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The owl tapped on the window, but Severus was so absorbed in his potion that he didn’t notice. Harry sighed and got up from the bench where he occasionally watched Severus work to let the owl in. </p><p>He retrieved the letter and skimmed to see if a reply was needed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em> Harry, Severus,  </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> I hope I’m not disturbing you but it seems like my friend, Betsy, has been visiting too long with the Wrackspurts this year and I’m afraid she may need a potion. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> Do you happen to have any Wrackspurt curatives? It does seem rather urgent… She’s been losing all color, her breathing has become very shallow and she’s gotten a quite infectious rash.  </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> Please send your reply or potions with Finneas. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> Love always,  </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> Luna  </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> Harry — if you are reading this, make sure Severus gets plenty of sleep. He is older than you, you know, and needs his rest during mating season.  </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Harry's puzzled expression intensified during the reading. Mating season? What? </p><p>“Weird. Severus, have a look at this.”</p><p>Severus scowled in concentration into the depths of his potion and didn’t reply.</p><p>“I think Luna’s friend has been poisoned,” Harry added.</p><p>Severus froze, holding a spoonful of a black, smoldering liquid over the potion. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>He handed the letter to Severus, who read it in one hand whilst awkwardly balancing the spoon in the air with the other.</p><p>“Wrackspurts?” he asked, bewildered. </p><p>“Luna has some interesting beliefs. I would assume it’s something else.” </p><p>“Quite.” Severus glanced at his potion, then back to the letter, conflicted. “Do you know this ‘Betsy’?”</p><p>“Does it matter?” </p><p>Severus looked forlornly into the cauldron. “That was nearly done,” he sighed and vanished the contents. </p><p>He summoned a black bag and within seconds, the air was filled with potion vials flying into the bag. He grabbed his cloak, and looked at Harry, some excitement in his eyes. </p><p>“All right, let’s go and save another idiot.” </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Harry fell out of the Floo, dusted himself off and called for Luna. She came around the corner just as Severus arrived behind him. </p><p>“Harry, Severus! You came!”</p><p>Severus winced at Luna’s familiarness and evaded the hug she aimed at them both. </p><p>“Miss Lovegood, kindly take us to your ailing companion.” </p><p>“Oh, yes, of course.” </p><p>She led them through a maze of hallways while Severus interrogated her. </p><p>“Is Betsy a witch? I understand you live in a Muggle neighborhood. ”</p><p>Harry knew he didn’t really need to pay attention—Sev always knew what to do—so he allowed himself to take note of the more… unique aspects of Luna’s home. He’d never been further than the hallway and sitting room, after all. </p><p>“Oh, no,” Luna said. “Betsy isn’t a witch.” </p><p>“Well, that certainly narrows it down somewhat,” Severus muttered. “Muggles can’t be poisoned by everything wizards can.” </p><p>“Most magical plants are poisonous to Muggles, though,” Harry interjected. </p><p>“Obviously. When did Betsy first begin showing symptoms and what was the first?”</p><p>Harry’s attention snagged as they passed an entirely yellow room. The walls, ceiling, carpet, furniture, and every single item was a shade of lemon. What possible purpose could that room be? </p><p>He furrowed his brow and glanced at Severus and Luna, only to see the whip of a cloak round the corner up ahead. He jogged after them, following the sounds of Luna’s reply. </p><p>“Well, she’s always been a little quiet, but lately I noticed she hasn’t been eating very much and she’s been a bit slower than normal. It started about three days ago, I’d expect.” </p><p>Harry slowed to stare at the portraits lining the corridor. They were all ocean creatures, the kind that lived in the darkest parts of the waters and lay in wait for weeks for their prey. And they were all swimming from painting to painting, following them. He shuddered and sped up again. </p><p>“And the rash?”</p><p>“I think it showed up yesterday, but it’s hard to tell.”</p><p>“Did you ask her?” </p><p>“Oh, she can’t tell me.” </p><p>“She lost the ability to speak? That’s concerning.” </p><p>Harry followed them as they entered yet <em> another </em> corridor (how big <em> was </em>her house?). </p><p>“She mostly just moans.” </p><p>“And what about her breathing, when did that become laboured?” </p><p>“This morning, just before I sent my owl.” </p><p>They approached a large door at the end of the corridor. </p><p>“She’s just through here,” Luna said. “I had to move her inside to keep her away from the Wrackspurt nest she’d found.” </p><p>Severus and Harry went through the door and stopped. They had entered what looked to be an enormous indoor field. If they hadn’t known any better, they would have thought they’d Apparated to a small farm. </p><p>They stared in confusion at Luna, who was holding her arms out to the side as if to soak up the fake sun.</p><p>“Well,” Severus demanded, “where is she?” </p><p>Luna dropped her hands and led them to a miserable looking milk cow who was laying down, and gracefully sat on her heels. “Hello Betsy, dear. Severus and Harry are here. They’ll make you feel all better.” </p><p>Severus froze in a mixture of bafflement, ire, and surprise. Harry glanced at Luna, who was petting ‘Betsy’ on her back, and started laughing. </p><p>Severus grabbed Harry by the shoulder and said in a low voice, “I’ve been working on that potion for <em> weeks</em>. And I ruined all of that effort to come save a <em> cow?</em>” </p><p>Harry laughed again. “Well, this wasn’t what I expected either, but clearly the cow needs help. Are you going to turn your back on a poor, innocent animal when it needs your help?” Harry murmured. He pressed his lips together, knowing Severus would do no such thing. </p><p>Severus pursed his lips. “I’d better be rewarded for this act of posterity.” </p><p>Harry winked. “I can think of a few things that might make a satisfactory reward.” </p><p>Severus’s gaze flickered to Harry’s lips, then he turned and  stomped over to the cow. “Let’s see what we can do.” </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“This is not the reward I was expecting,” Severus said. </p><p>“Better, isn’t it?” Harry gloated.</p><p>Severus took another look at the transfigured room. Harry had done an excellent job. He must have spent all afternoon making it look a near-identical replica to his old potions classroom. </p><p>Harry wore his old Hogwarts robes, Gryffindor tie included, and stood beside a bubbling cauldron. </p><p>Severus cracked a smile and let his expression slide back into his most menacing expression. It fit like a glove. He drew himself up to his fullest height and leant over Harry, forcing him to sit on the transfigured stool. “And just <em> what </em> do you think you’re up to, Mr Potter?” he snarled.</p><p>Harry glanced down, failing to hide a smile, before glaring up at Severus in mock defiance. “Just brewing my potion, <em> sir.” </em></p><p>“And did I not tell you not to add the—” Severus paused his tirade to scan the simmering concoction“—garlic until the… Hiccoughing... Potion had turned blue?”</p><p>Harry gestured at the potion. “It <em> is </em> blue, or do you need your eyes tested?”</p><p>Severus glared. “Twenty points from Gryffindor for your cheek, Potter! If anyone needs to get their eyes tested, it’s <em> you</em>.” </p><p>“I’m not the one who can’t see what’s directly in front of him,“ Harry muttered under his breath. </p><p>“Detention, Potter. See me after class.”</p><p>“Can’t get enough of me, can you, <em>sir.” </em>Harry spat, rising from the stool. “Lusting after your students again, are you <em>professor</em>?” He approached Severus. “There are other ways of getting me alone,” he purred, brushing up against Severus. </p><p>Severus felt Harry’s erection against his own and his mouth twitched, eyes sparking. </p><p>“Quite right, Potter. This one seems rather <em> hard</em>.”</p><p>He grabbed Harry’s shoulders and spun him around, in the same move vanishing the potion.</p><p>“You’re a menace, Mr Potter,” Severus growled, grinding his own erection into Harry. </p><p>“Teach me a lesson, then.” Harry teased, pushing back.</p><p>Severus caught Harry’s groping hands as they reached behind. He pulled Harry’s hands in front of him and spelled them to the table. “Keep still or I’ll have you scrubbing cauldrons.” </p><p>Harry let out a groan as Severus reached under Harry’s robes and grazed his fingers along the line of Harry’s underwear. </p><p>Harry panted as Severus lowered his hand beneath his waistline and caressed the skin above Harry’s cock.</p><p>“Merlin,” Harry groaned, “just fuck me already.”</p><p>“You will address me as ‘professor’ or ‘sir’, though I appreciate the comparison to Merlin.”</p><p>“Fine, fine. Fuck me, <em> sir.”  </em></p><p>“This is detention, is it not? Surely a detention shouldn’t include a reward,” Severus teased. </p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me?” </p><p>Severus watched Harry struggle to pull his hands off of the table, protesting all the while, and smirked. </p><p>He took mercy on his youthful lover and thrust his hand into Harry’s pants, casting a quick lubrication spell. </p><p>At Harry’s groan, Severus began quickly jerking his hand up and down.</p><p>Severus narrowly avoided Harry’s head as it was flung back, and gripped harder. </p><p>“Ahhh,” Harry moaned, erratically thrusting his hips in time with Severus’ hand. </p><p>Severus felt Harry’s back tighten against his chest and twisted his hand, wringing Harry’s orgasm from him. </p><p>Severus stepped back and waited for Harry, who was sagging against the table, to come back to life. Le petit mort, indeed. </p><p>Harry braced himself on his arms and Severus released his hands. Harry peered up at Severus “That was very naughty, professor.”</p><p>“Report me to the headmaster then,” Severus dismissed. “But I have a few other activities to do first that you might want to include in your report.” </p><p>“I’m sure you do,” Harry grinned, looking at Severus’ crotch. Harry stood up and began sauntering over to Severus.</p><p>Suddenly, the Floo rang and Luna’s voice could be heard calling for the both of them.</p><p>“You’ve got to be joking,” Harry complained. </p><p>“What on earth could be wrong with Betsy now?” Severus grumbled. </p><p>Harry grimaced and walked towards the fireplace in the other room. “Maybe it’s a chicken named Pecky this time. I’ll just tell her to call back. She’ll understand. After all, it <em>is</em> mating season.”</p>
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